r/MaliciousCompliance

I worked for a popular fast food company, I won't say the name, but it can be recognized by the sound of a single "Bong!" In its jingle. Anyway we are required to wear company brand shirts and must display the company logo on our bodies somewhere. Enter morning shift boss, I almost never see anybody from morning shift as I either evening or closing, but due to lays offs we needed a closing manger. He is incredibly nitpicky and hypocritical, and only invokes the rules when it's convenient for him. Any way my attire that never got any write ups or talks was a company shirt, company hat, an apron, and jeans. MS boss walks up to me and talks ro me about the dress code and my "violations". Apparently the rim of the shirt was too low, my apron wasn't allowed to have pockets, but the thing that really set him off was my jeans, he said I can't have them cuffed, and I either have to cut them to size or get new jeans that fit. I tried to explain to him that I have very wide hips and jeans of my waist size are usually meant for big and TALL people and I couldn't find any jeans anywhere that had my leg length, he said "just cut them then". Later that week he made everyone sign a pamphlet that basically says "I understand the dress code and will follow it or face repercussions", fortunately this pamphlet had the company dress code written in the text. Everyone else just signed their name and moved on, but I took the pamphlet into the back office and took the time to read the WHOLE thing. My boss came in and wondered why I wasn't working, I told him "my father told me to never sign things without reading the terms first" "Just sign it" he replied "I will, I just want to know what im signing my soul over for first is all". I'm guessing he thought what I said was funny as he chuckled and walked away. But then I saw it, my saving grace, "Only dark blue denim, black jeans or black pants, solid in color, are approved to wear as your [Company] uniform. Pants and jeans should not touch the ground, have holes, fading, embellishments, or light washes" that's everything the dress code said about jeans it said nothing that i wasn't allowed to cuff them. AND it did say I HAVE to wear a company apron too (which dont have pockets), but is never said anything I can't wear more than one apron. I proudly signed the pamphlet saying i fully understand the dress code, and i saw that my boss was the first person to sign it too. The next day I came to work with my jeans cuffed, my company apron on, but I wore it backwards and my usual apron on regularly, and I did tuck in my shirt as, that was dress code. A few coworkers wondered why I had two aprons and still cuffed my jeans, I just told them "Everything I'm wearing is to the letter, up to dress code". When my boss finally called me into the office and said I would receive a write up for insubordination and dresscode violation, I told him "Nuh-uh [cheeky finger wag], everything I am wearing is up to code, I thought you knew that, you signed it too I assume you took the time to read the terms of the dress code too?"

He got the pamphlet out and started reading the terms and I could see him looking at my jeans, and back at the pamphlet, then back at me, then my apron, then the paper again. "Is there anything that violates the dress code?" "...no" he replied

"Well then a write up would be unnecessary then for me, but I would like to point out that the dress code specifically prohibits holes in attire. And I think I see a hole right there on your shirt. And also it says pants can not touch the floor and you pants is down by your heels sir, I can see some dirt and a stray piece of lettuce on the rim of your pant leg". He looked and saw, then he shimmied his pants higher, up to his belly button

"You know, if they're too long, you can just cuff them" and then I promptly left Felt pretty proud of myself for that, my boss never came to me about dress code after that

We were going camping 40 years ago. We had a pop up trailer with a built in mini fridge with a sink and cook top. My dad said, "put these beers in the fridge."

I took the beers. I don't remember exactly, but I think it was a 12 pack of long neck glass bottles. I opened the fridge and put the beers in. They didn't all fit. I put them all upright. I guaranteed that the door could close and that none would fall out when you opened the fridge. There were some in the door where condiments go. It was pretty full. I reported back.

They were angry when they heard that they didn't all fit. They commanded that I go back and put ALL the beers in the fridge and not to come back until that was done.

Could the beers be on their side with the fridge door still closing and I could stack them up? No. Could I put beers that are upside down with the beers that are right side up? It wasn't stable. I worked at it for a while since I didn't have a time limit. I like geometry. I'm good at math. I like puzzles. Still, it could not be done. I was satisfied that volume of the beer challenged the volume of the fridge and that there were possible alternative unstable stacking methods that could get some more bottles in there, but woe to anyone who opened the fridge because the cascade of beers would be impressive. Feeling confident I reported back that the request could not be done.

They were enraged. It strikes my adult self that I should have just reported victory and hid the other beers somewhere else in the camper until there was room in the fridge. Maybe I should have drank the ones that didn't fit... I was young though. Didn't think of that. They were so mad. I had to go back and fit them ALL in the fridge.

Okay then. I went for an unstable arrangement of beers and worked at it for sometime until I could just slam the door closed in time to form a seal.

Eventually they opened the boobytrapped door. The camper was not level. As the door opened the beers all rolled out of the fridge in a rush for the open door of the camper like salmon jumping free when the dam is released, but they crashed in pools of broken glass and beer on rocks. My dad caught a few like an Alaskan bear on the river. He got like two in each mitt.

I expected to be yelled at again, but no. Strangely the worst of it was reporting the news that they didn't fit and not the aftermath of the great beer migration.

When I was at the army, I was drill seargent and trained some new recruits. I was fair and not like one of these douchebags. I did everything I ordered them to do with them together, to show them how to lead. I liked it that way and my squad also liked, that I get dirty with them. So my standing in the company was quiet good and I was appreciated.

After a couple of months, I had to switch company and a pretty young and fresh 2nd lieutenant was my new leader. He was kinda same age as me, but was full of discipline and wanted to spread his knowledge.

What you need to know, we all salute each other, but the other formalities where just needed and required, when there were some official things to do.

But not for this guy. He ordered me to be "like a real soldier, and salute every time I enter the room where he is and speak with him, how I it should be and be more respectful."

Cue malicious compliance. Every. F## time I entered the room where he was, I put on all the military manners I got (and I have a lot of them) saluted him and spoke only highly official with him. Only shorts reports, yes sir, no sir, as you wish sir. And I continued this for days and weeks. Every other officer looked at him like "dude, are you serious, that you want it like that?". And he became more and more embarrassed. He even told me, "please, don't say "yes sir" no more, because we both know this means "go f## yourself"." I just responded with "yes sir, anything else sir?" And we both knew, that I would continue this behavior.

At the end, when I left there, all but him thanked me for what I did and we all had a big laugh about this. But I think, he did not appreciate his order, and will think twice in the future. For me, it was just him and I liked to show, that I got respect and maners. It was a very funny time !